Turkey!

After a break from China, EJ decided to tell everyone that he was at the home of Lewis Hamilton, thats right Stevenage. What? No? Oh Grenada. Didn't know about that.

Anyway, I will give short reviews for this race, seeing as it was last week.

Qualifying - Boring
Race -  Less exciting than the press claimed.

Right onto the clothes

Eddie Jordan Outfit 10: Turkish Grand Prix Qualifying 2011

 

Quite a boring look today by EJ. Black silk on black jeans. 2/10 Eddie's.

Eddie Jordan Outfit 11: Turkish Grand Prix Race 2011

Thats more like it. A return to form by Eddie. Clearly this is a plain shirt, only viewed through the eyes of someone with an STD. But enough about my lifestyle choice. The shirt was not the damaging thing here - it's the quote Jenson Button said before the race which was "I like Eddie's shirt". Wow. I think this is quite a tame effort from EJ, not crazy enough - all in all a pretty laid back weekend from the EJ Master. 4/10 Eddie's.

Till next time keep on Eddieing.

 

Malaysian Humidity

Wow! What a cracker of a race we have just seen. The 2011 Malaysian Grand Prix gave us a lot of overtaking, confusing racing, good strategies and an unexpected result. Apart from the first place of course. I think Grands Prix would just be much better if Vettel was not allowed to compete, because he is just far too quick at the moment. Give him the points, but tell him not to actually race - get him to do sheep sheering instead. He looked quite handy at it before Australia.

Of course another Red Bull victory meant we got to hear the amazing Austrian national anthem once again. And what a beaut it is! Why, I could listen to it for days on end and never get bored by it - which is coincidentally what people do when they actually hear the Austrian national anthem.

We had a nice Eddie Jordan moment as well - he forgot a question he was about to give to Jenson Button - then when he asked the question, it was just a statement. It reminded me of his fabulous interview with Dietrich Materschitz which went like this.

EJ: This man has never given an interview before. His teams just won the world championship and he is very shy, and a good friend of mine - so I say congratulations. It was well deserved.


DM: Oh....


EJ: It was just AMAZING! How Vettel is so good yet so young, you must be very proud. 


DM: Hmm....


EJ: Back to Jake.

He also mentioned that McLaren like to do the "hopposite" whatever that meant. I think it's a rogue Irish game he likes to play along with hopscotch and hoperation. I also think his favourite TV show was Hopportunity Knocks.

Anyway onto the clothes.

Eddie Outfit 8: 2011 Malaysian Grand Prix Race


It makes me wonder how Eddie Jordan was unable to ask that question he needed to give to Jenson, and I now know exactly why. He took one look at his shirt and then had a momentary blackout as it fuzzed his brains. That's right! After all it would do that to me!

As you see it's a beautiful white shirt with blue flowers all over - but not like the blue flowers of Spa 2010 (which we will get to at a later date), but ones which are all nice and fuzzy. The tinted glasses however have gone, which is very sad. The chain round his neck still remains, but it's now been added by a light blue Puma belt. This is quite sad - because Eddie is not someone who plays to sponsors - and the thought of him wearing Puma gear all the time now is saddening. Can you imagine if he was forced to wear the same clobber as Usain Bolt? or even the Ghana football team from the World Cup. It would be a disaster.

The problem with this is that there's no white trousers to match, which makes the shirt just look silly, the outfit less ridiculous. This is a 6/10 Eddie in my eyes. It's a pretty crazy shirt, but at least he isnt dressed up in purple which is what Jake likes to do every year it seems.

Eddie Outfit 9 - 2010 Malaysian Grand Prix Raceday RETRO!

Retro Eddie. The problem with this shirt is I actually genuinely like it. Sure it looks like something that my 85 year old gran used to wear before she died, but it isn't too bad. It makes him more competant in front of the camera, as you can see he is being deadly serious and doesn't have lapse of concentration due to a confusing shirt. However this is a shirt which comes with ACCESSORIES!

 

YES! A Storm Trooper's outfit. This was given to him as Eddie as he had to leave early to catch his flight. It's a Force India helmet to aid him on his moped getting out of the racetrack. The thought of Eddie Jordan, in that shirt - white trousers and the Stig Storm Trooper helmet, on top of a bike, probably white to match his clothes makes the whole look quite ridiculous. Thats why it's a controversial 9/10 Eddie's.

Till next time, keep wearing that Eddie gear!

Oh Malay!

2 weeks since the sight of Eddie Jordan, and there's been some new developments. He's had a birthday!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDDIE!!! Now, we shall celebrate with a cake; unfortunately DC has managed to get his greedy mitts on it first as this secret photograph explains.

Greedy Coulthard! I'm not sure what he's doing here, but it looks as if he is trying to create circa 1998 Eddie style sideburns with sponge cake. But we know there's only one man who can have that look, and he knows exactly how to party!

Phwoar!!

Anyway, onto the outfits for this weekend. Starting with Thursday, we received a great photograph from the young Jake Humphrey on Twitter of a look of a king!

Malaysia Grand Prix 2011: Special Thursday Edition

It's just a bright pink shirt with a gold Puma logo, with sunglasses with a pink tint. He looks a bit like a twit, but also looks like someone going to golf. So it cant be too crazy a look. This is a 3 Eddie's out of a potential 10.

Malaysia Grand Prix 2011: Saturday Qualifying

Okay, lets cut to the chase - this is fucking awful. Even by Eddie's standards. It's not the first time we've seen that shirt - we saw it last year in Brazil qualifying. I didn't have this blog back then, but I remember it because it was a terrible shirt. However that time he was wearing plain black jeans - today BROWN! with BROWN shoes!! What a joker! He actually is trying to destroy my eyesight at 8am on a Saturday morning - after a late night bender to see this I thought my eyes were seeing things. Nearly called an ambulance. Plus, he has those pink tinted glasses! This is a 9/10 Eddie if ever I've seen one.

However this race is the one year's anniversary of a sad sad event. Eddie's most embarrassing clothes disaster.

Malaysian Grand Prix 2010 - Qualifying RETRO!

 

Poor Eddie. Not only is he stood next to a fine specimen of David Coulthard, but he was almost out-Eddie'd by Jake Humphrey, who's turned up looking like a 1970's Maths teacher minus a wig and polka dot tie, preferably similar guise to the shirt worn today by Eddie. Not to mention Tony Fernandes who's Lotus Racing shirt of 2010 was pretty awful. 

What makes the picture worse is his shirt was basically a woman's blouse. So he's in front of millions of people on British TV, sweating like a motherfucker in a woman's blouse. This is the height of Eddie embarrassment. However the shirt is not as rubbish as today's outing. This is a 7/10 Eddie. 

Til next time, keep Eddie'ing!

 

Australia, mate!!

We're just hours after the Australian GP. While the action on the track was a bit pony, the clothes off it were in Murray Walker's voice "FAAAAAANTAAASTIC!!". A perfectly executed victory from a Red Bull P.O.V. - German Sebastien Vettel won very comfortably, and the Australian Mark Webber didn't look like he could compete. This will definately please the guys at Milton Keynes, especially Herr Mateschitz & Dr Helmut Marko. Other encouraging performances were from Lewis Hamlton in the McLaren, the quite amazing Vitaly Petrov in the Lotus Renault GP (no, not the other Lotus, the Lotus who are black but green in GP2) and the two Sauber's who at the moment have been DQ'd from the race finishing 7th and 8th. Not too encouraging would be Felipe Massa who really struggled compared to his team mate and Jenson Button who was bumped back to 7th, then overtook Massa illegally and kept the place. Totally ruined his potential podium finish.

But you guys are all here for one thing only! The Shirts!


Outfit 2: Australian Grand Prix 2011 Qualifying

 A rather tame effort here by EJ, similar to his effort previously mentioned on the F1 preview show. In all honesty it's the jeans which make the most noise in the ensemble. A bit plain, not too mad and there's many worse shirts and jeans being worn not only in paddocks, but also on the streets of Croydon. 4/10 Eddies

Outfit 3 - F1 with McLaren F1

A return to form. An amazing effort to have a jumper that is both slate grey AND light blue yet still maintains to be interesting and of EJ's type.

It also managed to overshadow 2 men in a doctor's waiting room wearing racing outfits. It's a splendid effort - and is fully deserving of around 7 Eddie's.. BUT!


There's more that needs to be added. There were two accomplises (accomplii) for this outfit. A jacket and a TRUCK!

 Eddie tries to reverse the truck, but the shocking sight of the jacket has made the truck fail to cooperate to what the jumper is telling him.

So Eddie is left to leave the truck badly parked at Top Gear HQ for James May to decapitate himself on in the next edgy episode of the BBC series.







I think the jacket has increased the Eddie of the outfit, opting for the Richard Hammond's dad look at Top Gear studios. He deserves at least 8 Eddie's. Apart from 1 more picture.

Eddie scared out of his wits while being driven by Jenson Button gives him more praise from me (after all he has managed to woo my wife Jessica Michibata) - and his worried look has to give him a score of 9/10 Eddies.

Outfit 4 - Australian Grand Prix 2011 Race

Jesus Fucking Christ. Who bought that shirt? I cannot work it out. He's come dressed like a mad game of Connect 4 for the colour blind. The jeans are less crazy, and the shoes while designed for Tinie Tempah (a 20-odd year old black rapper from London) as apose to the almost 63 year old Eddie Jordan, it's not too bad.

The shirt however is quite awful - and certainly high up on the Eddie scale. While I'm partial to the odd flower, plaid or Paisley design this is something I couldn't entertain on a month of Sunday's. Definately the kind of shirt worn by middle aged women with short hair on the dole. Maybe that's the look he's going for this year. This gets 8/10 Eddies.

Also side note - maybe if David Coulthard's birthday cake had been thrown on EJ rather than DC then maybe we wouldn't have noticed a difference on that monstrosity. Still nice to see his shirts will be going to New Zealand next week for some fishing.

Until next time, keep on Eddie-ing your life!

A new beginning

This is a new blog by myself with one simple purpose. A look at Eddie Jordan's clothes. Anyone who has seen the BBC Formula 1 coverage in recent years knows that Eddie Jordan's choice of clothing has been sometimes unique, sometimes controversial and has always had the piss taken out of it. So this is a blog exclusively around to bring to you the talents of Mr E. Jordan's wardrobe.


The ratings of Eddie Jordan's clothes will be on a 1-10 scale known as "The Eddies". 1 being a conventional, normal person's clothes, such as a plain shirt and plain jeans - and 10 being, well this beauty from Japan 2009.

The basis of the Eddie's is not to have a go, or to criticise the look of a 62 year old Irish millionaire - but to admire and give love to the clothes and overall look (including those wonderful wigs) that only he dares to wear in front of millions 40 times a year. I personally find Eddie's clothes to be aluring and sexy - however many criticise, that is why we need an official graph of Eddie-dom.

So let the Eddie's commence...

Eddie Outfit 1: F1 Preview Show

 













As you can see from this - it is a lovely red chequered shirt, with lovely red buttons and a red label. It would look fantastic, if it wasnt for the fact that Eddie Jordan is on television, and when you are on television - you move. And when you move with a shirt that has such little chequered patterns you start to affect the screen.

However the shirt is not ridiculous by any Eddie standard, and should be considered to be a low-key effort. Plus we do not have the opportunity to see his beautiful fuschia shoes which has been covered by the table, and quite frankly that sickens me. It makes me very upset and would cause me to reconsider paying for my TV license, apart from the fact that it's on the Internet and not for television. So for that, I award thee 4/10 Eddie's.